Yes I'm in an ornery mood. No I don't know why.

Time for a kinder, gentler Rob.

It was some guy's birthday at my work today. Never met him, don't know him though I hear he's a swell guy. Now one of the beautiful things about working for a faceless corporation is that you don't have to be acquainted with an individual in order to enjoy the benefits of his/her birthday cake. Yes I know it sounds cold and impersonal but hey, I didn't make the rules.

At any rate, my supervisor came to my desk and asked if I wanted some birthday cake. It took me only half a second to think about it. "Sure, mmmmm, cake for breakfast" I lulled in my best Homer voice.

I say the look of horror in her eye and I knew what was coming next. "You mean to tell me that this cake will be your breakfast?" "Yes" I replied. Clearly she did not know that she was talking to a man who takes his dose of Vitamin C out of a can of Squirt. That didn't stop her from the hemming and hawing that inevitably followed. I nodded and said the obligatory "I know"s as she lectured me on the importance of "starting the day off right".

CHAPA'S RULE #40,152

Please don't harrass people who don't eat breakfast. The chances are good that they already know the many benefits of "starting the day off right", they just don't have the time to pursue such an endeavor. And those Nutrigrain bars are nasty so don't suggest them as a "timesaver".

There I feel better. BTW, the cake was good

Blogger is the tool of the Devil

I'm very, very discontented.

I had a post about four paragraphs long devoted to talking about the new softball team we're forming at our church. Pretty good stuff considering I've been en absentia for a good part of the last few weeks.

I hit "Post and Publish" and before I could say "504 Timeout" my post had gone to the Happy Blogging Grounds.

So for all of you just bleeding at the ears to gather what pearls of wisdom you can get from the Chapster in these times of doubt here goes my post in truncated form:

"I like baseball. I suck at baseball. I like coaching others."

Take some time to soak that in while I set fire to my computer.

How many cans of your favorite soft drink will it take to kill you?

Hmmm, according to the calculator it'll only take 432.98 cans of Mountain Dew before the caffeine takes me to my eternal reward.

Oh, but only 580.83 cans of Dr. Pepper before I go to be with Jesus. Looks I made the right choice in soft drink after all.

The calculator does not specify, however, whether or not the beverages must be consumed all in one sitting. I'm thinking that's the case because I know I have ingested more than 580 cans of DP in my life. *sniffs unapologetically*

I'm thinking if you ingest 500+ cans of anything in one sitting, it won't be the caffeine that takes you out.

Bad blogger, no cookie

Well looks like all my talk about being back was just a load of hooey (by the way just what is "hooey"?). No actually I've been busy being a family man as well as a student while trying to make time for a little personal reading. All that and carrying on an lengthy e-mail discussion about Norman Shepherd with my pastor. So's I's been a busy boy. I can say I'll try to be better at updating but we all know that's a load of...well.

Some items to discuss:

• It sounds like SARS-stock up in Toronto was a real sweet deal. Lot of talent up there and a lot of people. I dunno, I don't think I could take 450,000 people surrounding me for 12 hours. I cracked up though when I saw the headliners:
  
  AC/DC
  Rush
  Rolling Stones
  The Tea Party
  The Guess Who
  Justin Timberlake
  
  One of these things is not like the others.
  
  And yeah it looks like Timberlake was roundly booed as well as assaulted by water bottles. A shame really. I'm not a fan of the guy's music, but it sounded like he took it like a champ and handled himself with grace. And it was real cool the way the Stones took up for him.
  
  
• Sam Phillips died last night at 80. Owner of the legenday Sun Studios in Memphis TN, he launched teh careers of Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash, Jerry Lee Lewis, Roy Orbison and Conway Twitty. Looking to market the rock 'n roll that was so popular with the black community to a wider (whiter?) audience, he found the "white kid who could sing black" that he was looking for in a 18 year old Elvis Presley. In a few weeks they cut Presley's version of "That's Alright Momma" and the rest is, as they say, history.
  
  You owe it to your bad self to pick up Sun Record's 50th Anniversary box set. And if you can find it, pick up the Sun Sessions by Elvis and Johnny Cash.
  
  
• As much as I am a fan of a little smoky-smoky and a little drinky-drinky, this just sounds nasty.