I'm serving notice...

[via Joel]

[take the test] - [by krystaljungle.com]

Gah!

I have the Benny Hill closing credits theme song running through my head and it won't get out.

This little girl is learning lesson #1 about owning a business in Amerika: Big Brother must always get his share.

Having a son who's graduating from Kindergarten in a week, this article made me laugh:

"ASBURY PARK, N.J. -- Some relatives were angry after a vice principal told children at a kindergarten graduation to stand during the ceremony to symbolize the number of students who wouldn't graduate high school because of alcohol, drugs or pregnancy.
Paul J. Banik Jr. made the comments Wednesday at the Bangs Avenue Elementary School.

"Whatever point he was trying to get across, he seemed to be saying these kids wouldn't make it at all," Sherri Stanard, whose niece was graduating, told the Asbury Park Press. "But you don't do this on the morning that these little 5- and 6-year-old kids are having the moment of their life."

Is anybody else freaked out by the radio ads for the Hulk? There's this guy with a dark, monotone voice who quotes unnamed movie reviewers saying stuff like "The Hulk is an unparalleled achievement in moviemaking". And that's it, just 45 seconds of some guy reading various movie reviews, no music or sound effects, nothing. It seems like such a silly thing to be disturbed over, but the ad is just so surreal. On the other hand, I find it funny that you can practically hear the producers and studio execs sweating through the speakers. Way to combat the bad press guys.

That said, I'm still going to go see it. Fake looking Hulk and all...and he'd better say "HULK SMASH PUNY HUMANS" or I'll start a protest right there in the theater.

When Youth Groups Go Bad

This is too much. I'm not sure which is more ludicrous: the silly replication of the persecuted church complete with gas masks and gunshots (blanks), or the fact that the parents of this girl is suing the church for $2 million because her "future earning capacity has been diminished" as a result.

No wonder the world laughs at and ignores us.

It appears that the Israel Antiquities Authority, after exams from several committiees, have finally declared the James ossuary to be a fake. They claim that the inscription on the ossuary looks to be new, by a modern hand attempting to reproduce ancient written characters. Interesting. I didn't pay much attention to this when the story broke last November, but I though it was neat to have a connection from the past in our present day. The pessimist inside of me thought that it seemed too good to be true and so I assumed that it would eventually be proven a forgery. Now that it seems to be a fraud, I'm a little bummed, oh well.

Alright, can anyone tell me why my permalinks don't work? Any advice y'all could give would be great. Thanks!

YOU HAVE NOT BEEN PAYING ATTENTION

After I finished the last bite of my specially made Father's Day pancakes on Sunday morning (courtesy of my beautiful wife), I was greeted by two smiling boys holding a small wrapped package. I wiped my mouth, opened and read the card filled with scribbles and pictures, kissed my two cherubs and opened the gift. Ah, Hail to the Thief, brilliant! Daddy's taught them well about the rock and roll and they've been apt pupils.

I decided to have my first listen to it as I cleared the table and did the dishes. It wasn't until about 45 minutes into the CD, that I realized I had actually only rinsed a few plates off.

This album is nothing short of stunning.

Thom Yorke and crew have done it again, another brilliant album. It is a perfect amalgation of their last 5 albums. The experimental electronica of their last two albums fuses nicely with the pop prog stylings of their first three. The all too familiar themes of Orwellian paranoia and lost humanity are there with the rise of the lie-fueled War in Iraq and Dep. of Homeland Fearmongering serving as an all too apropos backdrop.

Yet as sublime as it is, you can't help but get the feeling that this was an experiment as well and that their next one is going to surpass it by leaps and bounds. After I finished it, I found myself wanting more. I'm not going to give a track by track review as I don't want to get all hoity-toity music critic on you, but I will say that you have to get this one.

Yes I'm still alive. Older, but not necessarily wiser.

Turned 28 on Sunday (Father's Day as well). I'm not the type of guy who dwells on the inevitable grey hair, stomach paunch or wrinkles. I figure I have all my 30's to worry about that. And I've got the stomach paunch thing already covered, so I can knock that off my to do list.

Last Thursday I went down to the DMV to renew my license. If you have never had the chance to sample the exotic sights and smells of a local California DMV office, then you haven't had the full experience of California. They should make that place a regular stop on L.A. sightseeing tours, sandwiched in between the Capitol Records Building and the restaurant at which Carrot Top used to bus tables.

Anyways, where was I, oh yeah, so I'm standing in line to get my picture taken, practicing my "picture" face, so I don't look like a goon everytime I whip out my ID ("Sorry sir, we don't sell alcohol to Amazonian baboons"), when I notice a familiar face taking the pictures for the DMV. It turns out that the former marketing manager for the now defunct bookstore chain that I once worked for is now making a living by kindly instructing people to smile for the birdie.

Now, I remember this guy quite fondly. About once a week he would come in and ask me about Reformed theology and ask for recommendations on the latest books. We would usually spend an hour browsing the store while talking and eventually he would leave with about $50-$100 worth of merchandise (which stretches a long way with a 40% discount). After I left for Wells Fargo, he would e-mail me about once a week to check up and see how I was faring and to also talk about theology. I appreciated the interest for my welfare and we carried the correspondence for about three months. Eventually the e-mails stopped, not coincidentally about the same time that I learned that the chain was to be sold and the new owner was looking to trim the fat in the corporate office. Some time later I heard that my acquaintance was let go in that purge.

There I stood, with my cheeks flushed with a confusing mix of shame and excitement. I couldn't understand, what was the big deal? Was it because of the ignominy suffered by this man with an MBA, now stuck behind a desk, patiently waiting for little old ladies to finish adjusting their makeup? Probably, but what kind of an elitist chump would thumb their nose at that. And it's not exactly like he was feasting with kings or anything, it was a small bookstore chain after all.

Or was it because of my fear that I was possibly looking at a picture of myself 30 years from now? Bachelor's degree be damned. Ding-ding, we have a winner.

"Next." Nowhere to hide now.

"Hey Hank, how's it going?" I reach out my hand, he takes it in his.

"Robert! I thought that was you. You're a little shaggier now though."

"Oh yeah," I said stroking my beard, "So how long have you been here?"

"Step behind the line please, oh for about three years now, what have you been doing?"

"I interview people for the bank now." Want a job? Get you out from behind the desk? Save you from the leper colony that is the DMV? Put your degree to good use?

"Oh that's great...that's great, please sign here." I sign. "Are you still selling books in your spare time?"

"Not selling...buying mostly," I chuckle. "One never gets that out of one's blood I guess."

"No," His smile meets mine. "Don't do it as much as I'd like to these days though..please put your thumb here," I place my thumb on the encoder pad. "But, you're right it's hard to get it out of your system." I look at him for traces of sadness, of wasted ambition. Nothing...he seems content. The awareness of shame comes upon me once more.

"OK that's it, good to talk to you Robert."

"You too Hank, see you around."

"Sure."

I leave the DMV with a sheet of paper saying that I'm still legal to drive. I pull out my wallet and I get a look at the sixteen year old kid looking back at me from the now obsolete license. Joy and optimism fill his face; a new driver, independent and ready to take on the world. I smile, tucking the paper behind his photo, and catch a glimpse of the two little boys facing him in the photo holder.

Not obsolete...not in the least.