Why was it, when I first saw this picture, all I could think was "So long and thanks for all the fish"?

Car Ride Convos

SCENE: Driving down the 5 Freeway in Orange County

Josh: Hey look, look, the Wizard of Oz
Rob: Wizard of Oz? Huh?
J: Yeah, look (points outside window to a large glass building)
R: Ohhh yeah, the Crystal Catastrophe
Caleb: cataf fonee
Karly: (annoyed) Bo-o-o-b
J: What is the Catas Trophy
R: It's the place where the Schuller lives, Son.
K: (turning to J) Sweetie, it's called the Crystal Cathedral
J: Oooh the Schuller, what is the Schuller?
R: Exactly.
K: Aw c'mon Bob.
C: Shoe Ler
R: He comes out every Sunday and says things like (deep, soothing voice) "Think Positive"
C & J: *giggle*
R: Yeah, I think it's funny too.
K: *sigh*

Co-Worker: Wow, you're dressed nice today. School day or wash day?
Me: Excuse me? It's called looking professional for work!
CW: (awaits an answer to her question, unimpressed)
Me: Yeah...ok, both.

Hmm...something tells me that my professional image needs a little polishing.

After some soul-searching and a quick nap, I have come to the decision that I shall never retire. Nope, no gold watch and a handshake for me, the coroner will have to come and pry my rigor-mortised fingers off of my mouse and load me into the van. You've undoubtedly seen, on the cubicle wall of certain disaffected employees, the crude office drawing of the skeleton with spider webs attached, sitting at a desk filled with papers in the "in" box? Well that's gonna be me.

But shed no tears, it's fine, I've made my peace with this fact, and here are the reasons:

1. Boredom. More than a week at home and I'm mixing potent household chemicals together just to see what will happen. Either that or I'm having a lightsaber duel in my underwear with an imaginary adversary. I will stay up til 3 AM and wake up at 1 PM, just in time for the latest "Judge Whoever" show. Believe me it wont be a pretty sight.

2. Reality. I work and live in one of the most oppressively tax-heavy states in the Union. Cali, especially So. Cali is not the place you want to start or own a business, unless it's a work-at-home type of deal with just you, a computer and little to no overhead. The cost of living here is abominable, therefore it's hard to save. However I have no plans to move anytime soon, so ergo, Hi-ho, Hi-ho.

3. PWE. Yeah that pesky Protestant Work Ethic always rears it's ugly head. Now I begrudge no man his retirement, if you're able to retire one day bully for you. But when I think that my days will be spent pretty much doing the deeds of laziness as outlined in reason 1...well that can't bring much glory to God can it? And, hello, isn't that the reason I'm here?

So the choice is before me...work until glory. Now, to find a profession that I can be fruitful in that won't drive me prematurely into the grave.

When I die, I hope to have an obituary headline as half as interesting as this one.

About a week ago I heard the Beastie Boys new anti-war song "World Gone Mad". Completely devoid of any well-reasoned argumentation, the song spills clunky platitudes stolen from a high school anti war rally. Here are some choice examples:

" Mirrors, smokescreens and lies
It's not the politicians but their actions I despise
You and Saddam should kick it like back in the day
With the cocaine and Courvoisier"

"As-Salamu alaikum, wa alaikum assalam
Peace to the Middle East peace to Islam
Now don't get us wrong 'cause we love America
But that's no reason to get hysterica
They're layin' on the syrup thick
We ain't waffles we ain't havin' it"

"Say ooh ah what's the White House doin'?
Oh no! Say, what in tarnation have they got brewing?!
Well I'm not pro Bush and I'm not pro Saddam
We need these fools to remain calm"

"Oh, what'll you do now, my blue-eyed son?
Oh, what'll you do now, my darling young one?
I'm a-goin' back out 'fore the rain starts a-fallin',
I'll walk to the depths of the deepest black forest,
Where the people are many and their hands are all empty,
Where the pellets of poison are flooding their waters,
Where the home in the valley meets the damp dirty prison,
Where the executioner's face is always well hidden,
Where hunger is ugly, where souls are forgotten,
Where black is the color, where none is the number,
And I'll tell it and think it and speak it and breathe it,
And reflect it from the mountain so all souls can see it,
Then I'll stand on the ocean until I start sinkin',
But I'll know my song well before I start singin',
And it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard, it's a hard,
It's a hard rain's a-gonna fall."

Hey, when did the Buzzcocks come out with a new CD?

Has anyone heard it? Is it worth picking up?

Ugh, another day another paper. This time it's on the American Dream: What is it and what does it mean to you? All together now *YAWN*

The good thing about these assignments is that they are mostly opinion puff pieces designed to develop writing skills. What's frustrating about it is that the subjects are so broad and sweeping, thus making it easier for my ADD affected mind to go wandering down rabbit trails. So I might start out writing about the American Dream and end up writing about the price of gas in Yugoslavia. Don't ask me how I get there, I just do.

So as annoying as it is, it's also helping me to tighten up my writing skills, which I desperately need. So all for good right?

Here's one I bet the memory hole wishes it could have back:

"Saddam Hussein donated hundreds of thousands of dollars to a Detroit church and received a key to the city more than two decades ago, soon after he became president of Iraq.

The events contrast sharply with the attack Saddam's regime is now facing from a U.S.-led coalition, reflecting his changed relationship with the United States since Washington helped Saddam covertly in his 1980-88 war with Iran.Saddam's bond with Detroit started in 1979, when the Rev. Jacob Yasso of Chaldean Sacred Heart congratulated Saddam on his presidency. In return, Yasso said, his church received $250,000.

"He was very kind person, very generous, very cooperative with the West. Lately, what's happened, I don't know," Yasso, 70, said Wednesday. "Money and power changed the person."

Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick did not immediately return a phone message seeking comment."

Looks like this baby is making the rounds now and is coming to So. Cal in June.

Excellent! Looks like I finally have birthday plans.

Who said that $50 can't buy you anything in America these days.

To give you a taste of what I'm dealing with in class:

Fellow Student: Y'know Robert, wars were meant for guys like you to fight...y'know, white men.
Me: Umm, I'm half-Hispanic.
Fellow Student: (astonished) No you're not...hmm, well never mind.

Keep in mind that these people are not teenagers but rather men and women in their 30's. I have to admit though they do entertain me.

Weep not for the future, but for the present.

Hooray for Hypocrites!!

As I was watching the standing ovation for absentee "Best Director" winner and convicted child-rapist Roman Polanski, I couldn't help but wonder how many of these hands now clapping were being sat on a few years back when Elia Kazan won the Lifetime Achievment award.

Ah godless Hollywood, your duplicity never fails to let me down.

So how screwed am I?

I just opened the report from my floppy disk in order to print out my report only to find that where once there were letters that form intelligible words there are now only squares...hundreds of squares. Gee that's swell, the report is only due tonight.

Sucks for me I guess.

By the way check out Iraqui blogger Salam Pax's blog Where is Raed?.

Here's an excerpt:

" The images we saw on TV last night (not Iraqi, jazeera-BBC-Arabiya) were terrible. The whole city looked as if it were on fire. The only thing I could think of was “why does this have to happen to Baghdad”. As one of the buildings I really love went up in a huge explosion I was close to tears.
today my father and brother went out to see what happening in the city, they say that it does look that the hits were very precise but when the missiles and bombs explode they wreck havoc in the neighborhood where they fall. Houses near al-salam palace(where the minister Sahaf took journalist) have had all their windows broke, doors blown in and in one case a roof has caved in. I guess that is what is called “collateral damage” and that makes it OK?
We worry about daytime bombing and the next round of attacks tonight with the added extra of the smoke screen in our skies.

My thoughts on Iraq and then I'll kind of let it drop

1. How is being critical of American foreign policy tantamount to being unpatriotic or unsupportive of our troops? I’m not sure how the logic follows. How could arguing against an ideology that puts the lives of these men and women in danger be seen as being “against” them?

2. Why have former battle-tested generals such as Norman Schwarzkopf, Anthony Zinni and Brent Scowcroft cautioned against war in Iraq? What makes these military minds, so important in Gulf War I, suddenly irrelevant?

3. Why are we continually being forced to take down people and administrations that we have set up? We supported the Taliban during the Soviet-Afghan war, we supported Hussein in the Iran-Iraq war. When (if) we leave Iraq and put a man of our own choosing to take the reigns, what assurance will we have that he will not follow the same course as his predecessor?

4. Is a war with Iraq a fiscally responsible endeavor? Some analysts estimate that a prolonged war and post-invasion occupation to stabilize Iraq will cost well over $200 billion. Who’s going to front that cost? Short answer: Joe and Jill Taxpayer.

5. Is it not feasible that an invasion of Iraq will play into bin Laden’s hands as another example of the imperialistic West advancing their agenda in Muslim “holy” land? What will this mean for his recruiting efforts?

This is the part where the warhawks will say:

Saddam Hussein is an evil dictator who has a history of destroying his own people (gassing the Kurds). We must take him out in order to promote democracy and freedom in that land.

Why is it the job of American soldiers to promote that democracy? How is it America’s job to sacrifice the life of our own soldiers in order to promote the notion of “democracy”? Are we willing to subject hundreds of thousands of more American soldiers to Gulf War syndrome from which thousands have already died? Yes, the human rights violations are tragic but how is use of our military force justified in stopping this?

Also on the issue of Saddam gassing the Kurds in 1988, US analysts reported at the time that cyanide gas was used to kill the Kurds, a gas which only was in possession by Iran at the time. Consequently, the disclosure by U.S. officials that Iran also had used chemical weapons at Halabjeh has received little to no circulation in the media today, why?

Saddam is in league with Al Quaida because he harbors terrorists in his country.

Yes that’s true, being a good Stalinite he’s in league with anyone who can help him out financially or politically. But what about the other countries harboring terrorists like Iran, Pakistan, India or Saudi Arabia. Why are we not planning a march into these countries?

Saddam is proliferating weapons of mass-destruction. He has an agenda to wipe out his neighbors as well as the USA.

According to the Cato Institute, there are 12 nations with nuclear weapons, 13 nations with biological weapons and 16 nations with biological weapons that are all considered to be current threats to America. But none of those nations are facing the threat of having their leadership overthrown. I have not seen any proof or reports that Saddam is currently planning to launch an offensive against the surrounding nations. We hear a lot about this supposed agenda against Iraq's neighbors and ourselves but nothing is ever concretely given.

We have given Saddam 12 years to disarm according to UN resolutions. Let's go blow him up.

So, who cares what the UN thinks? Obviously we don’t or we wouldn’t be attacking Iraq. One of the good things coming out of the war is the discussion about pulling out of the UN. Oh darn, no more global planners influencing our foreign and domestic policies, what shall we do?

Anyway for what it's worth...Antiwar.com and LewRockwell.com.